Thread: Triggering (SH): I almost killed myself yesterday
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melol Offline
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Name: Calvin
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I almost killed myself yesterday - March 24th 2022, 07:08 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Yesterday I watched Love, Simon and cried more than I ever have for something, like, ever. It really hit me where it hurts because as a trans guy I get extremely jealous of all cisgender men just being able to be themselves without surgery or having to transition in general. Pairing that with being bi and having extremely unsupportive parents made me a mess. After the movie, which I recommend, I really did enjoy it, I just lay on the couch for a bit and stared at the ceiling. I then looked over to my [edited] drew blood. I got scared even though I know nothing will change just because I didn't kill myself. I can't deal with the fact that I will never be cis or the fact that ill never be my parent's son or the fact that I can't medically begin to transition for at least two years. I'm closer than ever to ending it and its even worse than when I was 13, 3 years ago and in a really bad mindset then. I don't know what to do.
Last edited by hocus pocus; March 30th 2022 at 03:55 AM. Reason: Removing sh/suicide method as per the Mature & Sensitive Content Policy in the CoC.