[Celyn]

I'm sad this didn't get any replies. I wanted to comment but don't really have anything to say, other than, I'm in a similar, although different, boat.

I remember thinking about having kids, and felt that it might not be for me in that even though I can come across as kind and caring online, in real life, I'm just awkward and struggle with a lot of things. The thought of me raising a child, even if it's one I really want, fills me with anxiety.

I thought I was against having children, especially if I felt I couldn't look after them the way they needed. But I've also seen people on my social media who struggle with disabilities (both physical and mental) and yet they seem to make parenting work. It's not easy, and they've had to ask for help with various things but they and their children look happy and healthy.

I think that we can be too hard on ourselves at times. Granted, I don't know the extent of your struggles but I do understand your concerns in that when you are struggling, it's stuff that you can't really struggle with if you have children. I think finding work arounds can help e.g. with cleaning, try and do a little bit in your daily routine so that it doesn't build up, or ask your husband (no shame in that) or get a cleaner to help out. Asking for help when you need it is also good. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child.

It's really thoughtful for you to not want to have children if you feel you can't care for them properly. It takes a lot to admit that, but it does also show how caring you really are, ironically, making you a potentially better parent too.

For me, I feel like life is ticking by and I'm no way ready to be a parent and honestly, don't know if it's ever in the future for me either. I've often worried about not being a good enough parent and yet I don't have particularly strong feelings around wanting children (although I do get fleeting moments). I do feel I may regret whatever happens, but I try not to think about it and try to work towards looking after myself for now and in the future. I figured that if children aren't in my future, I'd still like to have some sort of relationship, perhaps such as mentoring or something. It won't be the same, but I've come to learn that at the end of the day, love is love no matter whether you are blood related or not.