[Celyn]

It's okay to not feel ready. Even when you know and try to mentally or emotionally prepare for death, I don't think you can ever feel 100% ready.

I've never had a pet but I have suffered other losses in my life and I am aware that grieving a pet often feels like grieving a family member. Your dog was a part of your family and your life for years, so it's natural that you will feel like you are grieving a loved one.

Try not to beat yourself up about how you should've treated him. It's very natural to find some things annoying about your dog and perhaps to have reacted in the moment, something that you might now regret. But dogs are very forgiving, so it's unlikely to have bothered him, and while you can't go back into the past to change that, you were there for him when it mattered the most