[Soda_Voxel]

I'm sorry, I don't have the headspace to properly decide whether this fits the grieving or pets category better...please feel free to move this or whatever, i cant think well right now

I knew our family dog, Bubba, was running out of time, and I thought I was ready. But he's either going to pass away tonight or get put down. I didn't think I'd be bothered that much, he never really liked me, hated me even looking at him. But he's still a part of the family, he loves my Mum to death and is really goofy and cute. He's been part of my life for the majority of it. I've grown up with him. I feel so guilty of all the time's I'd say he's a bad dog, or he's annoying, or anything. I wish I'd been better to him. He was laying on the floor this evening, barely conscious, and this time I was petting him longer than I've ever been able to, because he was barely functioning enough to notice.

There's so many things I'll miss about him that I would have found annoying. His loud nails clacking on the floor, his loud obnoxious barking at any person near the door when he was still able to hear, his growling protecting Mum from people, how he always came over for a treat after going outside in the morning.

I thought I was ready. I really really did. In fact, I was encouraging him being put down to stop his pain. But I'm not ready. I'm not.