TRIGGER WARNINGS: Insects, gore, death, general disgusting/unappealing things, self hatred, dirt/germs.
DISGUSTING
I am disgusting,
All things rotten and putrid;
I am the rat pecking at dropped food in the sewers
I'm the rust on a metal object, rendering it useless
I'm broken bottles and discarded plastic bags and gunpowder.
I'm the bloodstain that can't be washed out
The rot and the cobwebs and the dust and the mould
The rancid foul stench of rotting flesh
In a public human space.
Who would want that?
Why do I encourage myself?
Encourage the dirt and the grime and the trash I reside in
The piled-up dishes and the uncleaned surfaces and the greasy unwashed hair
The smoke of a fallen building, the ashes of a burnt-out house fire.
I'm roadkill on the side of the road, once full of potential,
reduced now only to rot and maggots and crawling flies.
I am disgusting.
A repulsive excuse for a person.
And change will do me no good.
No matter how much paint you put on a broken wall;
it's still falling, still destroyed,
still
useless.