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Re: It just has to get better.. -
February 4th 2022, 10:36 PM
Hey there. Thanks for posting.
I can tell you have a lot of love and connection to your boyfriend. You obviously care deeply about him, and it shows through in how much you want to make this work. Based on the physical connection you have, too, it sounds like he's someone you trust. It's very admirable you are trying so hard to find a way to communicate, and I can see why it might be hard to hear someone say you need to leave, or let go. Those fears are understandable, especially when it's your first love, which it sounds like he is.
However, sometimes, though, feelings like that can obfuscate the truth, and unfortunately the truth here is that the person you are with now is not the person you fell in love with. Sadly, people change. It's just a truth in life. I don't know what's going on with your boyfriend, or why he feels this way, and is experiencing so much anger. If you desire, it's something you could talk to him about. Communication is important in healthy relationships, and you have every right to express your feelings. But it sounds like he's not willing to hear them.
Unfortunately, when people stray so far from an original belief system, it's unusual they come back to it, at least not any time soon. It doesn't mean he can't be with you just because his beliefs change. What is more concerning here is that whatever issues he is dealing with internally are leading him to not only disrespect you, but actively show he doesn't value you, and is not listening to your needs or what is important to you in making this work.
It's up to you, what to do or where to go with this. Trust me, I know it's hard to just let go of something you spent so much time and effort and care on, and I am not saying that's what you have to do. But you do, however, deserve to be respected and loved for who you are. And if he's unwilling or unable to do that, he is no longer the person you should be with.
What I say here may be hard to here, but ultimately, you have to take care of yourself, and choose what makes you feel good about who you are and who you're with. And if this relationship isn't doing that, it might be time to reconsider it.
Take care.
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