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Firstly, don't be sorry for posting here! It's hard to reach out sometimes but you did a great job and I hope that writing it out helped.

You said the point I was going to make: you give advice to your friends but don't believe it for yourself. Imagine you were one of your friends. Would you ever say that your problems aren't big enough or aren't worth getting help for? Would you ever invalidate your friends? Try to look at it from that angle.

Also, your problems don't have to be better or worse than someone else's in order to get help, and you aren't wasting anyone's time by asking for it. Saying that people have it worse so you shouldn't get help, it's not valid to feel like you do, etc is like saying you shouldn't be happy because other people have it better. It's not a competition, and you're just as deserving. Plus, what if what you're going through gets worse because you didn't get help?

Sometimes our brains are mean and like playing tricks on us like that to avoid getting help. I mean, there's almost a certain sense of comfort in feeling what you already are. It's scary to get help sometimes and scary to feel something different. But you have to tell your brain to eff off, you're deserving. You're worthy. Even write down some affirmations and positive quotes if it helps. Repeat them enough time and you'll start to believe them.

You're not alone, and you deserve to be alive. We want you here, truly.

<3
Dez