[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thank you for coming here on TeenHelp to share your story. I’m sorry that it has been this way at home all these years.

You raised a very important matter, because at the age of 22, you should be given a considerable degree of freedom. Even if you’re living with your parents, you should still have the independence to go wherever you want by yourself, meet friends, do your hobbies, etc.

It appears that your mother is trying to be overly protective of you, which might be stemming from an insecurity she might be having deep inside her mind. Perhaps if she is able to open up about them, things might change for the both of you (and your sister).

I have a few suggestions that might help:
- Have a talk with your mom. It’s important that she knows how you have been feeling all this while. You might want to prepare some pointers that you’d like to bring up with her so that you don’t lose your train of thought. Explain everything calmly, and request her to see things from your point of view. If things get heated, try to stay calm. If need be, the conversation can be done in multiple sittings. Also do encourage her to openly express any inhibitions/worries she has, so that you can work things through/clarify things.

- Try to come to a sort of arrangement. Given that this is the lifestyle you have been leading under your mom’s supervision all these years, it can be difficult to change things overnight. Try to press for changes in small steps - perhaps get her to agree to let you go shopping by yourself, or cook a meal by yourself 1-2 days a week.

- One thing you could do is enrol in a hobby that requires you to go out physically (e.g. gym, pottery, volunteering, etc.) - the regularity of that is binding, so that might be a good place to start. It will give you the opportunity to do something by yourself, while also serving to remind your mother that you'll be fine if you were to do something by yourself without being under her constant supervision.

- I really like the suggestion Rivière gave about encouraging your mother to explore ways to meet new people. She might hesitate at first, but you can motivate her to step out and try something new!

I hope these suggestions might help. Please feel free to reach out again if there are any doubts! And I really hope things get better