[Kate*]

I hope this is short-lived because I don't want to give up, but it seems like the logical option. If I'm not going to get anything I wanted out of life because of something unchosen and unchangeable, and that same thing is going to make everything I try to do either difficult or impossible, why bother? She would say "You don't know what will happen." Except I have 33 years of life that proves this. Why would the rest be any different? As always I want things I can't have. I assume it would be much less intense, so better chances, but no guarantees. And I don't know if I could handle a repeat on any level.