[Everglow.]

Hey Sue,

First of all I agree with Emmie - you're such an amazing presence on TH and you're so appreciated here. You deserve to feel better than you do, and I wish I could give you the answers you need to feel better in life. But I do think it's worth you fighting this. You're a kind, skilled and caring person and I know the fight is hard and it feels like an uphill battle, but you are worth it. I hope one day you can see that for yourself.

Medication is definitely not the only thing that can help. Sometimes it's easy to see it as a quick fix, but every single human is different, which means every brain is different and requires different tools to help it cope. I would definitely recommend talking to your doctor about your medication and seeing if there is anything they can do. It might be that they can try something else, or a different dose, or offer you support outside of medication such as therapy which can help. Again, nothing is going to make all of this go away over night, and I know it's hard to find the motivation when it seems that nothing has worked so far, but it is worth it.

I agree with Emmie that talking to people is a good idea. I think that no matter what you were to do, or tell people, hurting yourself or worse would hurt the people who love you regardless. There's no way to do that without causing pain to those around you. Obviously in the long run, finding reasons to live for yourself is the goal, but I think the fact you have family who care for you is a good start in finding reasons to stay alive. Perhaps you could make a list of other good or positive things in your life as well as them which give you reasons to stay alive too. They don't have to be huge things, but little events or things which make you smile, or help you get out of bed in the morning. For me, dogs are a good one, or seeing the way the fog looks in the morning, or a package I've ordered which is being delivered. They can be anything, but any reason is a good enough reason to stay alive.

If you ever want to talk you're always free to message me. I hope you're getting through today.