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I'm really sorry you haven't yet received a response yet! I can only hope that my reply with be of at least some sort of use to you.

I have a client who's had therapists before and doesn't find them to be of any help. She said that talking with a stranger doesn't feel like it benefits her in any way. Not only that, whenever she's spoken with a therapist, they all seem too clinical. All of which are fair points. It's hard to find a mental health professional whom we click with really well, and instantly.

I think once we've been through a few counsellors/therapists, we tend to feel quite demotivated. We've shared the same stories over and over and it gets to a point where we just get tired of repeating ourselves. I've been in that sort of situation as well. I've been through a few counsellors and a couple were ok, some were not.

In terms of getting a driving permit, I'm 30 years old and I still don't drive. I absolutely refuse to. My mum constantly tells me about how it took her 3 times to get her license and all the horror stories she told me. She tries to tell me them to help make me feel better, but she honestly just makes me more fearful. She forgets I have a genuine learning disability that makes it so much harder for me to drive. I physically can't tell the distance between things. It's even worse driving around in a 4-wheeled box. She doesn't get this concept. She doesn't realise how the thought of having to learn how to drive at 30+ causes me so much anxiety. I fully understand your concern. People don't realise that it can be even harder for someone older to start driving.

In terms of wanting an example of having therapy and coming out better for it, I don't know if my stories will help, but there are 3 main ones I have. 2 good, 1 bad.

I was 18 years old when I had my first counsellor. The place I went to focused on person-centred counselling. This is where the focus is primarily on the client and allowing them to talk however much they want, only prompting when things get quiet or the client gets stuck for words. Fortunately for me, I was someone who had a lot to say and I offloaded a lot of my problems instantly. I'd just come from an attempted suicide so there was already a lot to discuss. She never wrote anything down. She literally just sat and listened because this is really all I'd ever wanted. For somebody to just sit and listen to me talk about everything that has happened to me and feel like I have somebody who wants to listen to me. I was with her up until I was around 20 and then I finished because she felt I'd become a lot stronger and grown past all the issues I'd had. She felt I was no longer a danger to myself and that discussing my problems really helped me improve. It really did. So I never needed to go back.

When I reached 21 I split with my boyfriend and I really spiralled a lot. I started having bad negative thoughts and those of suicide. I feared a relapse and so went to the doctor as well as the counselling place I received counselling for last time. I requested my same counsellor, but was unable to have her so was placed with another. During this time, I was on a 6-month waiting list with another counselling service aimed at adults. When I went back with my first counselling service, I had a new counsellor. Honestly she was the best counsellor I'd ever had. She was funny... personable. She listened. She let me say whatever I wanted, judgement-free. I felt so much happier for seeing her and always looked forward to seeing her every week. I saw her for 2.5 years and in that time, I came from being this sad and upset person, to this empowered individual, all because she sat listening to me. She treated me like I was a human being, and a friend. It wasn't just me sat there talking about my life. She would sometimes chip in with her experiences, not to behave in the manner of, 'this is what happened to me and it's worse...' but to behave in a way that demonstrated relatability. I felt like I could relate to her and understand her, and in turn, knowing her personal experiences made me feel like I was understood.

The third counsellor I saw at the adult counselling service was completely different. The service was ok, but they seemed to be focused more on numbers and how fast they can get people in. It felt very 'time is money' sort of thing. She'd sit there with a notebook writing everything down that I'd said. I wasn't used to that, given the other service never having done that. I felt like I wasn't properly being listened to. And any smile or nervous laughter I'd made was taken improperly. When I discussed my childhood, she would just comment how bad my mother was and how she wasn't very good... despite what happened to be as a child being no fault of my mother's at all. I think because I'd had such a good counsellor in the other service, my expectations were extremely high. So coming into another service and having this completely different approach... it really affected how I thought and felt about counselling.

Overall, my experiences of counselling were good, but I think having a counsellor/therapist who goes beyond just qualifications is important. It matters what their own personal life has been like. It provides a level of relatability and understanding. The first counselling service, they were all volunteers. They counselled me because they wanted to be there. The second did so because they were paid to do so. There was this huge difference. It was felt immediately.