Quote:
Originally Posted by Matter
I am unfit to living with people. I’m worthless. I’m useless. They have to invest a lot of money, time and nerves for my therapy, and what do I give back? Spending even more money and time and destroying mental health of everybody around. It is just not worth it. One day I will lead my mother to neurosis or depression. I’m not worth living and being cared for. I only consume money and time and I don’t give anything back. No effects of therapy, I don’t work, I won’t even pass studies. Whatever I touch, I break. I wish my mother couldn’t see immediately when I’m not right. I hear her cry afterwards. I’m guilty for all this. Father should suffer as much as she does. But he knows nothing. He only appears when he needs something of me. I would like to simply disappear. Poof! Like a soap bubble. No consequences, no traces of my existence. Everybody would be healthier and better. And I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.
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Hello there,
I'm sorry for the late response, I've only just joined but saw and wanted to say I'm sorry your feeling like this, how are things now has anything gotten better and that you feel like you have overcome the thought or feeling that you felt worthless? Had anyone discussed with you about the cost of therapy and if anyone can support you and take some pressure of your shoulders by helping paying for it? Have you spoken to your therapist about how down your feeling? They could help too. Saying you'll fail your studies is sad to hear, and I'm very sorry you think that, I thought I'd fail my studies but eventually, with my therapist and my schools help I passed. It's stressful, it tireds you out and the pressure you have is so hard, and I can totally hear here your coming from. You are worth being cared for, when you say you wish you could disappear, do you mean suicide? Have you spoken to someone about that? I hope things can get better, I really hope you see how special and important you are to everyone around you, you might not see or feel it, but your as good as anyone in this world!
Big hugs from me,
Shaunie