[Mallika]

Hi Danni,

Thanks for reaching out to us here on TeenHelp!! Your situation is a very understandable and valid one.

While it is nice to hear that you have found good company in your boyfriend at college, I would also be concerned with the red flags you have raised. And you are right to have your doubts. Particularly, this bit concerns me - 'It just feels like there are very different expectations of me vs him and it doesn't seem right.'

In a relationship, equality is important. To me, it seems like you're being really nice and forgiving while he's taking you for granted. You were kind enough to forgive him immediately following what seemed close to a cheating incident, while he wants a break from your relationship after a mere fight! He seems pretty self-absorbed and toxic if you ask me.

While it might seem terrible to break things off from this person whom you've become so attached to, it might be more difficult to stay in this relationship if his behaviour continues to be this way. You don't want to be in a situation whereby you eventually get accustomed to accommodating his tantrums and difficult behaviour - you don't deserve to be in that position. Rather, breaking things off will show that you are a strong woman with a mind and will of your own. It will also teach him a lesson about about respecting people more.

I once relentlessly chased someone for 4 years, thinking he was the only person in the world for me. He is a nice guy but he didn't feel the same way about me. I thought I could never get over him. But once I rationalised the situation in my head and realised that I should stop my pursuit, it was natural and effortless to move on altogether. If I could get over someone I loved for 4 years, I believe you will be able to move on from this difficult guy whom you've been with for 3 months. No doubt you will feel down, upset, heartbroken - it's okay to feel those emotions. But please be assured that they are a passing cloud.

You deserve to meet someone who values and cherishes you. Wait for that person

Take care! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!