I've always wanted children. Since I was a young child I've wanted that. I'm a carer and I really like children. I also have pretty severe Mental illness. Like, I was on SSI and while I have been doing better (I work now and have foe three years) I still struggle... I struggle a lot too.

I've had a few people tell me my anxiety is the worst they've ever witnessed. My depression is better than it was but I still struggle.

I'm kid less. I have a supportive partner.

The issue is, when I'm struggling I struggle with a lot of stuff you need to be good with when you have kids.

I struggle to clean and it wouldn't be fair to ask my husband to do all the cleaning. I know some couples have a trade off but idk.

I struggle to cook. It's not that I can't cook. The majority of the time I can't cook because of my past ED. Prepping meals triggers me. Other times I have absolutely no energy. I won't raise a kid on fast food.

I struggle with mental energy and patience too. I'm patient as heck in my job but what if I cannot extend that compassion to my children.

I don't want to have kids I can't care for. I'll love them fiercely and I know this but I also know loving kids isn't enough. I mean in a perfect world it would be enough but kids need love and stability.

I've met some kid less friends and they don't regret the decision but they also aren't struggling with the idea of kids because of an illness that was exacerbated by severe trauma.

Like, they didn't take enough away from me.

I know the fact that I'm thinking of this says a lot about me and how I'd parent. I also know that many mentally ill people have children. They figure out medication and other stuff and it works.

I'm also realizing my limitations and am accepting they might not be conducive to children.

Idk if this will get any responses but I don't know any other mental health related places I'm currently comfortable asking this question.

So, if you have mental illness and wanted kids how did you decide it was the right choice? How do you navigate parenthood and your illness? If you chose not to have kids, how do you live with the regret (do you have regrets?)