[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]Two weeks ago I attended an event where I saw a guy perform. I immediately “liked” him, but I wasn’t able to speak to him (let’s call him V). He’s from a different country. A few days later I looked him up on the internet and decided to send him a message, saying that I liked his performance. Nothing much - I didn’t even expect him to reply. But he did and we started conversating. Turns out we have a whole lot in common and I loved talking to him, so even though I don’t know him in real life, I became really emotionally engaged. At some point I admitted I had thought him cute and friendly at that event, and he said he liked me as well (as far as that can go only knowing each other online, obviously). So we would like to meet in real life, but don’t have that opportunity at the moment.


Yesterday I got a message out of nowhere from a stranger from my own country (apparently a friend of V). He told me ‘not to toy with V’s feelings, because he’s already suffered too much’ and then he sent me some screenshots from a little ‘conversation’ that I and my best friend had on my public profile. My best friend is gay and that convo was about a book... but apparently that man thought my best friend is my boyfriend and that I’m lying to V that I like him.



I hadn’t been that infuriated in a long time. I wrote to V about this, of course. He apologised and said he didn’t know that his friend would write something like this to me. I did let V know how pissed off I was maybe it wasn’t the right thing, but I was extremely emotional at that moment. After all, I am the one who has been thinking about V for 24/7 since we started chatting, and I am the one that is super emotional about it all.
The thing is, I’ve just started my studies. Studies I don’t want, but I feel I have to. And I cannot concentrate at all. These emotions are taking a huge toll on me. I can’t sleep at night, because my mind races (about V and last night about that whole drama, too). I need to study some Latin names while I’m in a completely different reality. For the past year, I didn’t attend any school or uni so it just gets matters worse because I got used to freedom. To doing what I want. I can’t concentrate and they want me to go to uni, study for many many hours and socialise. This is just too much. All these emotions are too much. I don't know how to cope.


Thanks for reading, I know it's long.
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