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Hi,

I first of all want to say that this is not something you have to be embarrassed about! Neither of you are alone in this and there are a lot of people who have had similar experiences.

If it is performance anxiety, can you ask him if there is anything you are able to do to help him out with it? For example, do you two do any foreplay before sex, that may be able to help him become more aroused? Is there anything he thinks you can say to him during sex that may improve his confidence? Perhaps if he is worried that he isn't satisfying you, you can either reassure him that he is doing fine or talk to him about trying different positions that both of you may enjoy more? Communicate, even during sex, to say what is feeling good. Trying new things may help get both of you reinvigorated.

It may also help if he tries to assess what his thoughts, feelings, and actions are during sex before he loses his hardness and then when he stops being hard. What types of things are going through his mind? Is he feeling any anxiety? Is it a certain position he's trying? Basically, he can try and pinpoint where things are starting to happen.

While I can't go into detail, there are also ways to be intimate and give pleasure without the traditional penis-in-vagina sex. It's something you may want to look up for more information.

I hope this helps, even a little.

Best of luck,
Dez