[Everglow.]

Hi

Thank you for reaching out about this. Eli has already given you some amazing advice and information and I don't have a huge amount to add on top of that. I definitely think he is right to bring up the divide between sexual and romantic attraction though, and this could be a really interesting avenue for you to explore. Sometimes you have to test out a few labels to see what one really 'fits', and sometimes even then you'll end up falling somewhere else on the spectrum that doesn't have a word yet! But I would say it's completely normal and not as uncommon as you might think that your sexuality and your romantic orientation don't necessarily match up. TH has a really wonderful dictionary of terms which might help you explore beyond the boundaries of gay or straight, so if you'd like to have a look you can find there here. As Eli says, your preferences can fluctuate, so try to remember that any label you try or settle on doesn't have to be a permanent thing. In a few years, months, days or even hours, if you feel it no longer reflects who you are, then feel free to abandon it and move on to something else which does!

The clothes you choose to wear can sometimes be an indication of gender expression, but they can also sometimes not be. I think it's totally fine for a man to enjoy and even find pleasure in wearing 'womens clothes', and I'm sorry that the woman you were with judged you because of that. As far as I'm concerned, if a woman can wear clothes from the mens section without anyone starting a riot, why can't a man wear clothes from the women's section?! It's unfortunate that other people make expressing ourselves authentically harder to do, but please don't ever feel ashamed by who you are and what you enjoy wearing. You are still valid exactly as you are.

I can't say for sure if you are gay. I think the only person who can know for sure is you, but it's okay if it takes a bit of time to finally know. I hope that you've found some of this helpful, but you're welcome to post again or send a PM to me any time if you fancy talking more.

Take care.