[Starseeker]

I used to take antidepressants from July 2019 to February 2021. First two types had significant side effects and I settled with the third one prescribed by my doc, which I took from summer 2020 to February this year.
I gradually went off the meds because I was feeling better. Things were okay-ish until around June, when I started having mood swings and depressive episodes. I feel like it's all going downhill once more. I've been thinking whether I should start taking meds again.

The thing is, I really don't like taking any kind of pills. I only take painkillers when it's absolutely necessary and that's about it. I just don't like the idea of some chemicals going through my stomach and then dispersing into my body. Another thing is that I'm afraid of the side effects, also of the processes of starting to take meds and going off them.
And the last reason why I'm hesitating is that psychiatric consultations are very expensive in my country. Some medications are refunded, but some are not. If I'm prescribed the ones I have to fully pay for it would be a considerable strain on my budget. Psychotherapy once a week is already kind of expensive. I'm not sure what to do.