[Alpine]

Thanks you guys.

I know rumors tend to blow over, it's just that this one is so personal.
What happened was a family friend, a mother of two, was going through some difficult times with her little boy. My mother, I have no idea why, told her my story. The trauma I experienced when I was young and how we dealt with it. I think she meant to comfort but this woman heard something extremely different. She reported our house to social services. When I heard what she's saying about me to our friends and family, to her daughter who I was friends with, I broke down in the car.

She's saying really horrible, untrue things about me, but what hurts is that they are close to what actually did happen to me when I was really young. So when I tried to say hi to her daughter at the bus station, to see how things were going (They moved out their house, they were actually our renters.) she blew me off, wouldn't talk to me, and then her male friend challenged me from a group of six guys.

When I related the story to my mother, she commented "You're lucky you didn't get stabbed." Which I know was unlikely. But that didn't help with the stress, the anxiety.

I know I should find connection and I'm trying, but it's hard when I have to wonder what this girl is parroting from her mother to all her friends. She's a "street girl" in a way, one of the nicest people I know but also troubled. She partied a lot, did a lot of drugs... I'm still worried about her even now. Anyway, she knows almost everyone our age in town. I heard when she got in a dicey situation with an older man at a party, her friends broke into his apartment and trashed it. So I'm worried, for her getting into those situations but also about her friends breaking into my home. She knows where I live. I really hope I'm just paranoid.

I appreciate the advice to connect with old friends, but really I don't have any. I moved to my current city right before COVID hit, I'm homeschooled, so I haven't met anyone here yet. The last place I lived for more than six months was R and that was three years ago. I don't really know anyone there anymore.

I'm really appreciative of the chance to express all this. It really helps to "say" it all. And I feel self conscious, like I'm whining. I know my mother wouldn't approve, she's really hard when it comes to some things. So, sorry if I am, or if this thread doesn't really match the forum.