[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]I've been dating this guy for a few months now. A couple of weeks into our relationship he told me he loved me. There was no pressure for me to say it back and I really appreciated that. He just loved me and was willing to wait until (or if ever) I was ready to take that step.

For a bit of background, things with my ex really, really messed me up. I thought we were it. We had plans to marry and everything. And then they left, so unexpectedly. Looking back, now, there were signs things were not going well, but at the time they left I was crushed. I swore I never wanted to love anyone again. I knew I probably wasn't capable of that, because I am not aromantic, and am in fact very much a romantic person, but I didn't want to feel things for people. It hurt too much.

Obviously when I started developing romantic feelings for my current boyfriend, this became a problem. I'll save you the story and say that yes, at this point I have told him I love him, and it's going really well. But I am still struggling a LOT with emotional vulnerability. Like I'll tell him I love him, and it feels really good, but then when he leaves I immediately feel scared because I miss him when he's gone. I don't generally miss people and it really freaks me out that I miss him. I fear, too, that maybe I am showing too much of myself, and he'll decide I'm not worth loving. Then he'll leave.

And of course, that's what it all comes down to: he'll leave. And I'll hurt again, just like I did with my ex.

I know we can take things slower if needed, but I do want to make clear I am okay with the pace. I just want to learn how to be vulnerable and close with someone without recoiling emotionally every time I let my guard down. Can someone maybe help me with this?[/size]