[Everglow.]

Hey,

This sounds like a really tough situation to be going back into, and your anxiety around going home makes a lot of sense. I haven't been in this situation myself, so I hope you don't mind me replying.

Is there a way you can reach out to your brother or your mum or grandmother before you move back in to talk to them about your worries? As they've been there while you're away, perhaps they can help you ease back into the dynamic properly so that you feel less isolated when doing so.

It might also be handy to have a set of resources or a list of contact information for if things are so bad you're struggling to cope. Obviously nobody deserves to feel anxious going into their own home, and your fathers behaviour is a huge part of that. Here is a list of some hotlines which might be able to help if you need them. Remember that yours and your family's safety is important, and it's okay to ask for help if your father is being abusive in any way. That sort of behaviour is not okay.

I understand that being at home means you can save up a good amount of money, but the suggestion above is also a really good option. If you have any other family or a friend who you could stay with, that might help too. Perhaps you will need to spend a bit of money on rent to stay with them, but this might still be cheaper than living alone over the summer. Maybe this could be an option if you feel unhappy going back home and you have someone who could help you out.

I hope you manage to find a way through this. If you need anything or want a place to vent you can message me any time. Take care.