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Want to be a victim -
May 30th 2021, 04:27 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
Its simple: I very well know that rape and pedophiles are bad, but my ill brain tells me its not and finds both of those things... arousing. Im thirteen and Ive never been treated harshly - my family are the nicest people I know and even through I dont have friends, I like being alone and I have a dog. At school I was bullied a little and obsessed with my girl classmate that I had a crush on but thats irrelevant I think.
Somehow, I want to be a victim of physical abuse or grooming, rape - that stuff. But Im sick of feeling that way because its disgusting and creeping me tf out. Like a year ago I figured out that I might be a masochist but that doesnt excuse the fact that I want to be hurt by someone so much older than me who has full control of me - since im a child and weak.
I am very scared of the thoughts I have because people say that you always get what you want and even through I do want to be a victim, at the same time I dont...
Please help I dont know what to do, I started seeking the attention of pedophiles on the internet already
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