[Everglow.]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out, it must have taken a lot of courage to do that. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this, but there is definitely nothing wrong with you, and it's not stupid for it to be upsetting you now that you're old enough to understand what happened. This is definitely not an okay thing for any child to do.

Is there somebody in your family who you could talk to about this? Maybe a parent or trusted aunt or uncle, or a cousin for example? I do feel like talking about this could be really beneficial as you've kept it a secret for all this time. They may even be able to help you receive some professional support for this. Sometimes it takes many years for things like this to fully become understood, especially as you were so young when it happened. Because of that, it's a lot to cope with all on your own when the reality of it hits you. A professional, such as a therapist or counsellor, may be able to help you process this in a healthy way.

Depending on how old your sister was when this happened, it's possible she didn't even understand the reality of these actions herself. But regardless of this, how you feel now is not stupid and you should never have had to go through this.