[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]the depression is really settling in. i’ve been in quarantine since last march while my friends went back to school (i had to be an online learner while everyone else was in real school because my parents were worried about covid) but i’ve recently gotten fully vaccinated. because of this, i’ve been ready to see friends again. the issue is, i have no idea who my friends are anymore. everyone has been living their lives without me for over a year (i barely talked to anyone) and now i just don’t know what to do. i’m going back to school next year, and i just have no idea who my friends are. plus i’ve been really overwhelmed with family stuff at home, and i have no one to talk to. i’m pretty much the therapist friend to the few people i still talk to, so i have no one i can share what’s been happening with me. i’ve relapsed (sh) a few times in the past couple months, and everything just feels like too much right now. i’ll relapse and then hide the fact that i ever did it and put a smile on and pretend i’m fine in front of everyone even though i’m hurting. i don’t want to cease living, but i wish there was just a pause button on life. or maybe a restart. it’s my senior year, so i’ll graduate soon, but everything is going downhill and idk what to do anymore. i’m constantly anxious and depressed and i feel like i’m going to be numb again. i don’t want that to happen but it’s so overwhelming. no one truly knows me or is really close to me. i have nobody.[/size][/color][/font]