[hocus pocus]

I actually took a few weeks to think about this. My traumas taught me to trust my instinct or my gut feelings. Whenever I stray from my instinct I regret it. I have instincts about everyday things, though, not just trauma. I know when people close to me are hurting or when something is off. And with someone I am very close with I often bring my phone to my face right before a text message pops up.

I was leaving school one time and my gut kept telling me to make a right instead of go straight at a bad intersection. I went straight instead and totaled my car. Of course now that horrific intersection has a traffic light.

Another time, there was a man following me around a store when I was by myself. I look a lot younger than I am - about ten years younger - which doesn't help. He wouldn't stop following me and getting close, or making faces so I instinctively ducked into an aisle with a few people in it and stayed there until he left.

This is probably going to sound really weird, but I can pick out perpetrators quite easily out in public. I don't go out of my way to do it but I can feel them especially if there is one nearby. It only happens maybe once every few months or so. I have that 'sixth sense.' There are times when I've had to leave places because the sense is overwhelmingly strong. Ironically, I can sift out perpetrators easily but if any man looks at me or flirts with me I totally block it out. Only the people I am with can see the flirting.

Also, I know you deleted your account but I do feel angry sometimes. Usually I struggle to show vulnerability especially when I'm angry or deeply anxious. But, instead of being angry I shut down and my walls go up very high. I shut everyone out without meaning to and it is very hard for me to break those walls back down. When it comes to supporting other people (those with trauma outside of my immediate family) I am detached but in a good way. I care about my friends and the people I am talking to but I keep a bit of detachment so I can support others without letting my own stuff bubble up.