[Rivière]

Thankfully my experiences with counsellors have been mostly positive.

The first two were really nice. They were actively listening to everything I said. Any time I got stuck or lost for words they were able to prompt conversation. They were quite friendly and allowed me to speak about whatever was on my mind, even if it was something casual like me complaining about my day. Some other positives were that they made me feel like they were also my friend, and that I could share anything with them and not feel judged by it.

The last one I had was an abuse counsellor. While she was ok for the most part, maybe I'm just not used to counsellors writing things down all the time. I know it's a way of remembering important information, but for me it can make me feel like I have to keep stopping to let them write because otherwise they're not 100% listening to everything I'm saying. In one instance, they mistook me 'laughing' as a sign of mockery because they mentioned they met someone who had money and chose to stay with them solely to get out of their bad home situation. They thought I was mocking them and responded, 'You can laugh... some women do this..' except my laugh (those laughs you do where you smile and breathe outward through your nose heavily a moment) was a nervous one because I'd barely started seeing her. Another time I opened up about my childhood and about my mum and the home situation with my father as a toddler. When I told her about the abuse and everything, she said that my mum 'wasn't very good'. I understand that she wanted to support me, but at the same time, my mum couldn't be blamed for how my father abused me. It's not something a person can ever expect. You don't expect the love of your life to sexually abuse your kids. To say she was a bad mother was just completely uncalled for and incorrect. The way she went on about my mum made me feel like she was trying to make me feel dislike towards my own mother and to me made me so anxious I stopped going back.