I've had this group of friends since I was nineteen, twenty years old. Over time we've drifted apart a bit, but we still stay in touch via social media. Anyway, a few years ago one of my friends, we'll call them N, came forward and said that another person in the group, we'll call him J, cornered her at a party and attempted to sexually assault her. Knowing how J is I can believe it, and I choose to believe victims of abuse anyway, so on social media I unfriended J, his girlfriend, and another friend who was really close with them.

I haven't had to worry about it much because I haven't hung out with these people in person in years. I know J and his girlfriend are the godparents to my friends' baby, so I was worried that would be awkward if I ever went and visited them, but they live a couple of hours away, so I wasn't too concerned. However, in the last year I've been talking to someone we will call C. C and I are planning on hanging out and maybe dating, if things go well. However, C went to high school with J, and they've been friends for many years. They are only in occasional contact, but they still talk.

I am not sure what to do. I think J is an abuser, and uses the fact he is charming and attractive to lure victims. I want to see C and maybe my other friends from that group but I have no idea how to interact with J or explain to him and his friends why I unfriended them on social media. I don't want to lose these friendships (minus J, of course) because they were an important part of my early adulthood, and I still like them all. What do I do? How do I handle this situation in a way that I can preserve my integrity, but no one gets hurt?