[Everglow.]

I think it's good to remember that no two people process grief in the same way, and because of that emotions will vary and sometimes not feel how you expected them to. Being all over the place is completely normal. It's a huge life event and recovering from that is a process. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions even if to you they seem unusual. I think funerals give the expectation of closure, but often afterwards, we're still stuck with the reality of what has happened, and we're no closer really to being at peace with that. It's okay to take your time and deal with things at your own pace. Just remember, you're not doing this alone and it's good to utilise the support systems you have around you when you're dealing with this.

I'm sorry that your manager has been so up and down with your work shifts. All of the uncertainty of whether or not you'll have hours is a lot to deal with on top of the other stuff you have going on. It's unprofessional in my opinion that he isn't replying to your messages and can't even give you a definite schedule. I'm glad you're interested in something more permanent. Casual work sounds a lot like a zero hour contract here in the UK, and I've known people who have worked a zero hour contract and hated it. They might be scheduled for 50 hours of work one week, and absolutely nothing the next with no promise of when they might work again. It's very up in the air and it's understandable that it's causing you a lot of stress. I hope you manage to find something more steady soon. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.

Feel free to message me any time if you need to talk about anything.