[Rivière]

I get that you feel like you probably wished you hadn't invested in your old manager like that. You feel like you're never going to see that money again, and at a time like this, you feel like it was a lot of money to give away.

In my personal opinion, generosity has a purpose. You gave to him at a time when he truly needed it and you didn't think twice. Maybe £10,000 isn't a lot to you or to a lot of other people, but it will have been to him. You helped him get himself back on his feet. Sure he might not have a good paying job anymore. Sure you may not receive a return on your generosity... but to give to somebody, in my opinion, should be without the desire to see a return on that which you gave.

Back in 2019 I was still in university and I'd decided I wanted to become a personal trainer. Being a PT is an investment with a long delayed return. It's a lifestyle job, and not a very high-paying one to begin with at that. I only had £1000 spare and it certainly didn't cover the cost of my PT course, my PT license, my first aid certificate, nor my PT insurance. Fortunately, like your old manager, I had a friend who was like you. He was kind enough to loan me money without a second thought because he could see I needed help.

I'm going to be very honest with you. I still haven't managed to return the £1.7k I loaned from him. I have a lot of bills to pay, transport to and from work to pay, and a family to take care of. He gave me that money knowing he may never see it again. So far, he hasn't.

Giving somebody a large some of money isn't something you expect a person to return to you so easily. When we're faced with a decision to support our family with the money we've been blessed to finally get, or to risk starvation, red letters from being unable to pay bills, or even worse, naturally we're going to choose our family first... no matter how much we've been invested in by a friend.

I'm 100% committed to giving my friend his money back and though he keeps reminding me I don't need to, it's a matter of principle. I won't ever forget his generosity. Just like your old manager won't forget yours.

It's ok to wish you hadn't given him all that money. And it's ok to wish you could get it back. Just remember why you gave him that money. Sure his job isn't as great, but you saved him and his family. Be patient with him. Knowing he has that high a fee to repay you, it's going to take an exceptionally long time, especially in a pandemic.

What you did was a selfless act.