[Everglow.]

Hi Violet,

I have seen your name around for a long long time having been a member on the site for so long too, but I'll admit I don't know much about what you've been through. That being said, I read through this post and agree with every single thing you've said. Just because people are biologically family, doesn't make them healthy people to be around. Leaving people you love, but who harm you emotionally, is a hard thing to do, and given the fact it took so much planning, consideration, and upset, the fact you distanced yourself from them seems valid and you don't deserve to feel bad for having done that. Putting boundaries in place for your own wellbeing (i.e. only letting people share in certain emotions/memories) is a good thing. Healthy relationships with boundaries are good.

I am so sorry you've been upset over all of this today. Crying is a healthy way to express emotion, and as much as nobody likes to do it, sometimes you need that outlet. The fact you have a safe space in TeenHelp is also really great because it means you have somewhere to turn to, with people you feel accepted by regardless of the past traumas you have. I'm happy you feel comfortable talking to us here, and I'm glad you posted this.

You are lovable. You do deserve love. You are not a bad person.

You're a person who has been hurt and who has removed themselves from a harmful situation. Blood doesn't give you any obligations to stay if this will cause you to feel unhappy.

I can completely understand why you feel guilty though, and I understand why this is something which upsets you even though it has put you in a better place in some ways. Seeing a therapist is a good thing. Would you be able to speak to them about how you're feeling? Perhaps this is something you can work through together.

I also think having a hand-chosen family can sometimes be really healing. If you have a good group of friends around you, perhaps you can reach out to them when you're struggling. For me, my friends are an extension of my family, and in a lot of cases they are closer to me than certain family members. There's nothing wrong with picking a family who are not related by blood, but who are more beneficial for your mental health.

I hope this helps a bit. You're definitely not a bad person, and I hope that hearing this helps you believe it. If you need any help at all please feel free to message me any time. I hope you're okay.