[Mallika]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out! I'm 23 and never dated before. I've experienced similar emotions as the ones you've described before, so I hope I can help a little.

Firstly, I don't think there's anything abnormal about not feeling like dating. We all operate on our own timelines, so the most important thing is to introspect and see how you're feeling about a certain thing. It's nice that you have slowly begun to consider dating - while I personally don't have experience with it, I too think from time to time that it would be nice to have someone in my life with whom I'd be able to do many things together.

I've come to realise that our thoughts and attitudes towards things change a lot over time. There are some times whereby we feel like could never do said activity (e.g. dating), but then, we're human at the end of the day. Our experiences and perspectives constantly change; we can be rest assured and confident in this regard and go with what our mind opens up to, so long as we aren't feeling overwhelmed. So it's good that you have reached out to ask for some advice regarding this - that shows that you've begun to embrace this changing aspect of yourself.

Like MsNobleEleanor has suggested, I think it would be a good idea to think of what you are looking for in a partner. That way, if someone reaches out to you about dating next time, perhaps you could ask them if this potential date might be somewhere close to your expectations - and if they are, that will hopefully make you feel comfortable about meeting the date. The world of dating can be daunting, but perhaps taking small steps might help, so that you aren't overwhelmed. Also, with dating, you can take things slowly - perhaps going on a date or two and seeing how you vibe with that person (or how comfortable you feel about dating itself) is a great idea, just like you suggested.

I really liked that you mentioned that you would like a potential partner to share similar values as you. I think that's a lovely starting point - say you have agreed to go on a date, you could strike a conversation with that person and ask them what values they bear close to their heart. That way, you might feel better about having this person by your side, knowing that you both share similar ideals.

I wish you the very best with this, and remember that you only have to commit as far as you feel comfortable. There's nothing wrong in going at your own pace for things like dating and relationships.

Take care