[Everglow.]

Hey there,

I completely understand how it feels for depression to creep up in waves. That's how I tend to feel a lot of the time too - a few good weeks, a few bad ones, and then repeat. It's hard and tiring, and I understand why you're struggling to deal with that. I think anybody would.

I think it's important to try and remind yourself that even though you're going through a bad patch, in the past you've gotten through 100% of them. Even the really bad ones, where you nearly didn't make it, you still sruvived. You came through and you were happy again. It means that happiness is possible regardless of how bad things get. There will be an end to it and you will feel better. All of the proof you need is the past. This will come to an end too. So it's worth fighting through it for the happy parts when you reach them again.

Maybe it would help for you to reconnect with some of the people you distanced yourself from? I know it's hard when you feel you're putting in all of the effort, but company or communication can often help reduce feelings of isolation, and being around people who make you smile might make you feel a bit happier too, even for a short while. Also, think of the things you used to do which made the triggers easier to deal with. You say these things worked for a while, but maybe they can help again for a while. Getting through things like this is about taking it a moment at a time. A trigger at a time. It's okay to celebrate small successes, like avoiding a trigger to harm yourself, and smiling at something small. If the usual ways of coping aren't helping right now, have a look at some of the Alternatives TH suggests. There's quite a lot of really good suggestions there. Try a few, and see if anything helps even if it's for a short while.

Finally, I'm not sure what events triggered you to feel depressed, but I know that life events can play a huge role in influencing mood and relapses. I'm sorry that whatever it is you're going through is making you feel this way. I really hope that you find a way to work through it all. Are you receiving any support in real life at the moment? If not, would it be useful to think about looking into that? You can maybe have a chat with your doctor, or look for a therapist or professional who can help. There are sometimes people who specialise in certain life events, so maybe someone like that might help you work through the feelings you're having and find a healthy way to cope with them. It isn't a weakness to be struggling, and reaching out here is a really good step towards progress. Acknowledging that you're not okay right now isn't a bad thing. It gives you the space to allow yourself to heal again.

I hope this has helped a bit, but feel free to message me anytime if you'd like to talk. I hope you're doing okay.