[Soda_Voxel]

I wish I had a label for myself, yet at the same time, I hate labels. It's so confusing.

For reference, I am a cis female and for the most part consider myself straight. However, in the past year or so, I have started to like some nonbinary people, and to make matters worse, I have fallen for my best friend who is also nonbinary. And I mean, this is the biggest crush I've ever had, I can imagine my entire life with them.

I like men a lot, I have lots of crushes on lots of men, I'm pretty straight. But there's these huge glaring exceptions so it doesn't feel right or appropriate to call myself straight, but what label am I supposed to use? Bisexual does not feel right at all to me, even if I know that bisexuality can be an umbrella, it does not seem to suit me. I want to be straight, I just want everything to be straightforward (pun unintended) and easy to describe and not have to use specific labels for everything. Yet at the same time, I need to know what I am.

I don't know what I want. I hate myself for feeling this way. You know, sometimes, I wish I was aro-ace, because love and all those kind of feelings can be so stressful and overwhelming.

I don't understand myself anymore.