[Everglow.]

Hey there,

I'm sorry that your friend has expressed such hurtful opinions to you. It's very unfortunate that people still have the mindset that even expressing violent intentions towards another person is ok for any reason, especially as a result of a sexuality they didn't choose, and which doesn't make them a bad person. I believe that your friends reaction was very unnecessary, and completely understand your reservations about being honest with regard to your own sexuality now.

Unfortunately, there are many people in very similar situations. While coming out is a display of pride and authenticity, it's important to know that you owe nobody the truth if it's going to put you at harm, either physically or emotionally. You're not required to tell people, especially if their reaction is likely to hurt you in any way at all. With that in mind, I don't think you should feel bad at all for not telling him you're bi. It is clear that his reactions are not supportive - whatever the reasoning behind that might be - and therefore it's unlikely to end with you feeling supported by him. It's also not disrespectful to yourself to not come out to him. You should always respect yourself enough to not be made to feel bad about things which are out of your control, and also very natural. Please don't ever feel like you owe the world the truth on something they're not yet ready to accept. It doesn't make you any less you. I'm not out to many people. Work, for example, don't know I'm asexual, much like Sarah has said above. And that's completely ok! However, if at some point you decide you would like to come out, it's completely okay to let him know when he's being disrespectful and hurtful. Perhaps if you do decide to go down this route, you could direct him to helpful resources or charities which can explain more to him about bisexuality and queerness, and normalise it for him.

I understand that you'd like to carry on with your classes with him, and with him being your friend as well as your coach I understand that makes it more complicated. Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with carrying on there as long as you feel you can still achieve some sort of happiness and satisfaction from your time there. I would pay attention to how you feel when you're there though. If you're finding that being there is causing you to feel stressed, anxious or depressed, addressing that is a good idea. Perhaps pull him aside and explain that his comments made you feel uneasy - you don't need to make it about your own bisexuality either; you could say you have many friends who fall on the LGBTQ+ spectrum and so your views are very different if you wanted. This way, it might encourage him to watch what he says and rethink how his words impact others.

Either way, I hope you can find a happy medium between your sexuality and your hobby and future aspirations. If you need anything at all, you're always welcome to PM me. Nobody has the right to make you uncomfortable as a result of who you are. Being bi is not a bad thing. Nobody deserves to be bullied or hurt as a result of their sexuality, and 'I'm sorry that your friend has said these things.