[Rivière]

I understand how difficult a situation this must be for you. You care deeply for him as a friend, but his services are extremely good. I know how difficult it can be to be torn between two things we really want, and not be sure which is the best direction to go towards.

I don't think there is any good way to resolve your situation. I feel it' more of a case in which you need to decide which you want the most, his friendship and coaching, or to not hide and be truthful to yourself.

In my workplace I don't reveal my sexuality. So far, my co-workers all thing I'm straight. I've had experiences with men and have discussed it with my female co-workers. No one would believe me as anything other than straight. In one way I admit I do feel restricted. I can't be myself. I can't just admire and be openly attracted to other women because of my environment. The majority of people at my workplace are male. I get approached my a few men asking to talk to me on a more personal level. Naturally I'm not interested because I identify as gay. However, being open about this isn't in my best interest. While my company has a policy that aims to protect LGBT+ individuals, it doesn't mean to say I won't be mistreated.

I have the option of opening up to my colleagues and my workplace so everyone knows my sexuality and I can be free, and myself... all whilst knowing that my sexuality may not be accepted or even have dire consequences. Or, I can keep it to myself without risking verbal/physical abuse.

In a situation such as this, I feel it's more of a need-to-know basis. I've outweighed the pros and cons of both sides and determined that letting people believe I'm straight is the better course of action for the sake of my job, my own safety, and potentially any friends I make.

It sounds like your friend and coach may have issues of his own relating to sexual orientation. Naturally people assume that those who assert this kind of behaviour are closeted individuals themselves. However, this may not be the case, and he may have had a personal experience with a non-straight individual that has clearly damaged them in some way and has produced a lot of strong negative feelings. As his friend, you could consider exploring why he shares these viewpoints. He's obviously respectful of you enough to accept your personal opinions on the matter, so perhaps exploring things a bit further could help?

You've seen how he will take the situation if you were genuinely coming out to him. It's clear that he is not yet in a good place to accept your sexuality. This doesn't mean you shouldn't come out to him, but could reconsider in when and how you choose to do it.

Ultimately it's your decision on how to tackle the situation. You know him best, and you know your own feelings better than anyone. If you feel like keeping your sexuality private from his doing more harm to you than good, then I don't think coming out to him is a bad option, regardless of his reactions.