[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I don't know what to do b/c I just transferred to a new school this year and there is no one that I'm "close" with. I rarely hang out with people after school in the first place and at my new school I have only hung out with one person for half a year (which would be the same even w/out covid) and honestly like I've tried to convince myself to go to the counsellor's office but I just struggle with expressing myself, dealing with my parents' reaction if I mention sui**** and, like, I was diagnosed with clinical depression around 2 years ago and they reacted really poorly with it, getting mad and shit like that and I think im just scared of that happening again. There isn't really any trusted adult I can talk to either because, first of all, I don't have a trusted adult I feel comfortable sharing my feelings with, and second, I'm really shit at accepting anything people say like if im being complimented on something I just think They're just saying that because they have to, they don't mean it or if I say something about not being happy with the mark I get on an assignment or something and they try to say it's ok or something I just think they're just saying that because what else are you supposed to say in that situation because when it's the reverse, I say those things, but I usually don't actually mean them because I honestly just want to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible. That probably makes me sound like a jerk, and I probably fucking am, haha. Yeah, and like I've thought about trying to write about how I feel in a notebook but im always scared my parents will look through it, or ill lose it, someone will find it, and my life will become more shittier than it already is, without fail. any tips or suggestions would be great because I constantly feel like im about to shatter into a million pieces.
-Ross[/size][/color][/font]