[Everglow.]

Hi there,

I think the decision is ultimately yours, based on what you feel comfortable sharing, but I understand your worries here and I would probably share them myself. Could you perhaps say something such as "my dad and I aren't in touch" or "my father and I don't talk"? If anyone presses you for more information, you're not obliged to tell them anything you're not comfortable sharing. You can simply say that you don't want to talk about it, or it's in the past and therefore something you don't need or want to think about.

I think, looking at the future, having the possibility of a support network there even if you don't currently have a good relationship with your father will be helpful. What you're saying makes complete sense in that it keeps the option to talk to someone and be comforted open when that day does eventually come.

As I say, the choice is entirely yours. I don't really know if it's right or wrong. I have met people who say relatives are "dead to them", but it is not necessarily a death wish. I'm not sure it's something I would say myself though, but circumstances are different for everyone and emotions are often justified and explainable. From what you're saying though I think a very clear, direct way of saying "we dont talk, I don't want to talk about it" would benefit you and take away the moral dilemma of telling people both of your parents have passed away.

Hope this helps a little bit!