[DeletedAccount53]

Originally Posted by Ellsie

Hi, I'm Ellsie and this is my first post. I'm not too interested in opening up yet, so I'm not really going to go into feelings here, just the situation. Basically, I'm in swim at school and usually my obvious SH are hidden well, but not with the bathing suit. It's under my underarm area, where the sides of a bra would cover. But the suit shows them. They are only scars there, the fresh ones are dispersed on my body, trying to make it look natural and not as suspicious. But the scars make the situation painfully obvious as it's a group of them going in the same direction. Any advice, or believable stories to explain everything?

First of all, I warmly welcome you to Teen Help. People here are friendly and they care very much for everyone's welfare including yours.

I wear similar scars, but from being maltreated by a vicious mother long since dead, and a father also dead from alcoholism.

This is the first time I've spoken openly about the scars on my back, legs and the same for Julie my beloved twin. Our mother put a horse whip to me for standing up to her and protecting Julie. Except our scars do not and have not, ever, defined us. Yet, we wear full swimming costumes, but even so, they do not hide all those scars done to us when we were 11.

But it took some doing to summon courage to swim and ignore blatant stares from those around us. So I know how you feel, but do not, if it is possible, to feel shame. Or guilt. Because self-injuring has always been a safety valve as it were, to release the inner pain that 'SI' causes. But please keep your wounds clean. That is vital.

I am not familiar with the US medical admissions, that is to say if you can go to a hospital or see your doctor alone. I don't know, but I think other friends here from the US could advise you better. Please, just know you are not alone here in this lovely site.

There is no timeline to open up here. It is within your way to share as little or as much as you wish to do. My sharing about my scars is the first time this evening on the board.

Have you someone close at school or socially who you could confide to? If not, there are some here who are very good at help, or take a look at Teen Help Resources: http://www.teenhelp.org/resources/



Wendi