[Mallika]

Hi Ellie,

Thank you for reaching out. I'm very sorry to hear that you were raped.

Words cannot describe the trauma such incidents leave on us, and as such, it's only natural that we react in a certain way after that incident. When I was young, I was molested and for many years after that, the idea of a man touching me repulsed (and even frightened) me. That was in my teens, and now I don't feel that way anymore. I firmly believe time does heal all wounds.

It has been really difficult so far, and so you shouldn't have to go through your healing process all alone. Like the other users have mentioned here, you should definitely reach out for help. To answer your question as to whether you'll ever feel normal again, yes, it is absolutely possible. But considering that the trauma after such incidents is indescribable, we have to work towards it with the aid of some support. Commitment towards our mental wellbeing is no different from the commitment we'd put in towards other aspects of health (e.g. a diet or staying fit) - you will come out stronger from this and people have healed from trauma when they sought help and actively worked to get better. Remember, there are professionals who help people heal from incidents like the one you had to undergo, so there is light at the end of the tunnel

If you are a student, perhaps you would like to reach out to your school's/college's mental health support team? These are often free for students and a great way to get some professional help without having to look too far. Other than that, support groups at your local community centre might be helpful. You might want to Google for rape and sexual assault advocacy organisations in your country; often these are a great resource for finding therapists or other useful resources.

I want to commend you for coming out here to share your story. Let me remind you once again that you don't have to go through this alone. Help is available and you will come out of this fully healed. Don't give up

You can always PM me if you'd like to chat about anything!