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Name: Hollie
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/They
Location: London
Posts: 4,532
Points: 74,747, Level: 39 |
Join Date: January 19th 2011
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Re: Somethings wrong with me. -
January 5th 2021, 08:33 PM
Hey
I'm sorry to hear that your friend said that, and that your other friend is moving away. That sounds like a lot to happen in a short space of time and I can understand why you feel upset right now.
With regards to your friend who said they cannot be friends with you because of the election, this is a complicated one because in some ways who a person votes for can be an indicator of many clashes in values and beliefs. My recommendation here would be to open up a dialogue with her and find out what it is about your vote that has made her feel this way. It doesn't mean that something is wrong with you, but if a political figure stands for certain things which are a conflict of interest for some people, having someone they trust send a vote their way might be challenging. Opening up this conversation might be tough, as both you and your friend may end up testing your belief systems and challenging a lot of what you know, but politics can be a rough area for many people who are sometimes disadvantaged by the policies which come with an election. If nothing else, showing your friend that you are open to listening, learning, and challenging things is a good thing, and with any luck she will open herself up in the same way and you can both learn something about why each of you voted and believed in the things you do. Politics is a difficult one to comment on neutrally, so I'll leave that one there and hope that something in there helps you find a way through this!
Hearing that a friend is moving so far away sounds really hard and I'm sorry that you have to face that. I want you to know that them moving away has nothing to do with you. Chances are there are many other reasons for the move. It could be family, finances, a better way of life, but it's very unlikely that something being wrong with you is the reason for this. The really good thing is that in today's world there are a million ways to keep in touch. It's not the same as face to face contact (we've all found that out the hard way this year!), but it can at least bridge the gap between seeing someone you care about. See if you can set up zoom or skype calls every now and then, or keep in touch via social media or text. There are really fun things you can do over the internet to keep it interesting too, such as playing online games together, doing quizzes, or even having a virtual dinner together! If you wanted to make it personal, you could also become penpals, allowing you to handwrite letters or draw pictures for the other person so that you feel like you are each still a part of each others lives.
Finally, I want you to know that crying is okay. Crying is a good way to release intense emotion and it's nothing to be ashamed about. What you're going through here sounds tough, and it's understandable that you're feeling how you do. Give yourself permission to be upset, you're allowed to. Nothing is wrong with you, and life sometimes throws a curveball that winds you. How you're reacting to this, with crying and being sad, is totally normal.
I hope you're getting through this okay. If you need anything at all the forums are always here for you, and you are more than welcome to reach out for help any time you need some support. I'm sorry again that you're going through a tough time, but I really do hope that you'll find ways to cope and gradually feel better.
Take care
"Why want another universe if this one has dogs?"
Matt Haig - The Midnight Library
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