[Celyn]

Hey Ellie,

I'm sorry to hear that you were raped. I think it's very understandable that you now feel sex repulsed after experiencing such a trauma. Naturally, after going through such a trauma, you may find yourself feeling scared by intimacy or turned off by sex, even though you may have enjoyed sex previously. But it is possible to recover from trauma, though it may take time and work.

I'm wondering how you feel about non-sexual intimacy? Things like hugs, holding hands, non-sexual touching etc. I understand that you want sex and sexual intimacy to feel good again so perhaps thinking of how you feel with non-sexual intimacy might be a way to explore intimacy without becoming sexual until you feel ready to explore that again. Any type of intimacy requires us to be vulnerable but it can help to build up how safe we feel with someone by exploring non-sexual intimacy first.

Likewise, if you want to explore your own body sexually, take things slow and remind yourself that you are safe and in control. Try not to push yourself if you don't feel comfortable. And if you have any negative feelings such as feeling guilty or dirty afterwards, try and be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that it's okay and even healthy to explore your own body. With time, these feelings will lessen.

I also agree with Eli that perhaps seeking support from a support group or therapist may help you. When you connect with others or are able to process your feelings in a safe environment, you can then feel more empowered within yourself and realise that you aren't alone and can recover