Quote:
Originally Posted by ladoglover
]Of course I wouldn't say that to my clients face. In side me though it would be frustrating to know that I know this person could try harder and they aren't. Also be frustrating when I know it seems there running to the hospital for every little thing which is coming off as they like being mentally ill and like the attention they get at the mental hospital. It seems that way because they really have nothing to be severely depressed about therefore it seems the times they say I have been having suicidal thoughts lately or whatever is really just to get put in the mental hospital again because they like the attention and caring they get from the mental hospital. Yes, they might be having suicidal thoughts but since they really have nothing to be severely depressed about then the thoughts are probably mild I feel and the patient can seriously using coping skills to deal with them and they will just pass instead of making them bigger what they are to get put in a mental hospital.
I am scared to be blunt but sometimes it is needed and being blunt does not mean uncaring if you say it in a caring way.
I just finished a year of grad school.2 years or 2 years and a half to go.
Yes, I usually say I am feeling so horrible to get some caring and compassion. Also, I say it so the people that hurt me on here feel horrible for how they treated me. Also, so people feel badly that I'm banned from chat. I have BPD and so its hard to explain. Even though it seems intentional because I know what I'm doing and manipulative its not. Its not intentional in the way people think of intentional in that I'm being bad, manipulative and so on. I'm not. I'm trying to get my needs met in the only way I know how or feel that I could get my needs met. Also wanting some one to feel bad for hurting me well that's the only way I know how to get that need met of wanting some one to truly know they hurt me because when I say you have hurt me it doesn't seem to be enough to satisfy me that they got they hurt me.
If its in caps and lots of sad faces it usually means I'm really upset about the situation but not major depression or anything and I'm wanting someone to validate my feeling, show me caring and compassion therefore I will exaggerate how I feel.
If I write how im feeling in a post in no caps and it seems to be well written then most likely its true what im feeling not exaggerated in any way .
LOL now you know my secret. Well its not a secret just why I do what I do.
I'm really not severely depressed. I am doing well. I am lonely that is true. I deal with persistent depression mild all my life so that's nothing new. I am doing well. I have started a job at home. I am very lonely. I am in grad school. I haven't made any friends. This semester was online because of covid. Next semester I do not know yet if it wil be online or not . I just kind of right now just stay home with my dog, watch tv, sleep, eat, do chores, play games and so on. Not much. No friends and no bf.
Okay Ill look at that book. Yes, I agree we has humans tend to think others may think the way we do but is important to realize everyone is different. It can be hard for me at times to remember that. Sometimes its just unconsciously it happens without realizing it. Yes, my big heart and compassion sometimes comes off too strong.
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You will never even become a therapist if you have that attitude. Your education will be a waste of time and will only be prolonging the situation of not finding gainful employment and living at home with your parents- thus worsening your own mental health. I have no problem being blunt if I feel like it is the truth: you are on a path to crashing and burning with your career/education if you don't become more open minded about issues that involve things you haven't experienced. You will likely not be allowed to finish the program and will run into serious difficulties when you get to the part where you train in a clinical setting. They aren't going to care about your feelings and time devoted, they will care how you communicate with the (often vulnerable) patients. I wanted to point that out because it may be something that nobody in your feels it is their place to tell you. But it is the truth. You don't seem to be close to an expert in mental health the way things are now. I don't feel bad about pointing that out because it is something that you will have to deal with eventually and it is better you address that the easy way rather than wait till others forcibly address it the hard way for you.
I don't think many mentally healthy people think of ways to go to the mental hospital "for attention". Come to think of it, I don't think many mentally ill people get committed just for the attention either.
Also-literally the next thread in this sub is you saying your mental health is "doing horrible". There is a difference between mental health and mood. Mood changes moment to moment. You complain about people not "trying harder" but tbh I don't think you try very hard at all. You just go with your moods constantly and don't take a step back and think about the actual nature of your mental illness.
For progress to be made, only actual progress should be celebrated. Im glad you were in a good mood at the time you wrote this, but you should take the windows as an opportunity to think things from a different perspective. By actual progress, I mean an actual sustained improvement with your mental health rather than a day or moment where your symptoms aren't as bothersome.
I know for me, this insight was necessary for me to stop being an alcoholic. I would celebrate good days where I just didn't feel like drinking as much as signs that my alcoholism had spontaneously improved. But I wasn't thinking about it from a rational perspective. I needed to analyze it and come to the conclusion that I was only going to recover if I constantly thought ahead. This involved telling myself that " although I feel I will be able to resist the cravings and only drink moderate tonight, I won't do it because if I bring drinking back into my life, I know that I will eventually start giving into the cravings to drink uncontrollably." The equivalent for you would be : "I know that I am feeling good and content right now, partly because I am having a good day, but I know that triggers will happen in the future and that my mood will get bad again- how can I handle the bad events and respond to them properly?" . As a small example- you keep getting banned on here and then complaining and coming back and doing the same thing. If you don't care that you are banned, then that's one thing. But you seem very bothered by it each time without analyzing the pattern of behavior that got you into the hurt state of mind to begin with. But then again, I am not sure if this is going to be helpful advice to you, because you have previously seemed to imply that addiction is merely a moral failure.
Im not trying to be rude, just pointing out what is true. You are wanting to go into mental health field but have so little insight into many mental health problems and how people actually work. You seem to know a bit about your own, but only to the extent that you use it as something to complain about.
Your best coping mechanism is "take my benzo, feel loopy, and fall asleep"...often just to deal with an issue in an online chat room. Benzos can be a horrible coping strategy and I am sorry to say that being prescribed doesn't really change the pharmacological effects of these drugs.