[DeletedAccount53]

Originally Posted by Skye16

That was very beautifully written. Thank you so much Wendi. I've learned to embraced their distorted love. If even their love only last few moments I'm grateful for that. I've always love them with every inch of my existence because no matter how ever they are they are the only family I know.

I get that my parents are not heroes. And I'm not the best daughter either. Love is always two wayed. But it's tiring to always love them and get slight to none feeling from their part.

I will definitely read the book you recommended. It has a beautiful name.

All my life I have felt that something is wrong with me. I still feel that. It's like I'm broken and unfixable. I feels like I'm the one who always creates mess. It's hard to accept the opposite because it's humanly nature to blame oneself.

I'm sorry to hear about yours and Julie's past but I'm glad you have your Maman now.

Lots of love
Skye

In a video made by a fashion mag, Maman said these words: 'I'm trying everything, but it's hard to find your path in life.'

You have not yet found your path in life, so maybe this emptiness you feel is all part of your frustration of being unable to find it. Yet, you are being educated at school and the curriculum you are active in will become real when you pass your exams.

When I was 16 I thought very differently than I do now. Though my living circumstances have changed, the integral structure of my life remains the same. There is plenty of work that has to be done, yet, I have not reached the pinnacle when I can say I've made it to the top. Many years are yet to be lived, and I won't allow feelings of emptiness fill it. maybe you can still find things to do?

Your parents may never be helpful, but unconsciously you have let them drag you down to feel empty. Have you friends you can see and do things with?

When we actively become part of our friends' lives, then we will be doing something worthwhile where others can benefit. In this there is the satisfaction of helping them achieve their dreams.

For the sake of my sister and our mother I refuse to assume I am of little worth, let alone feel empty. I make things happen; I am driven. My whole life spans ahead like yours though our culture is different, surely there is something you can involve yourself in that will go a long way in making your life feel you are making significant changes for the better.