[Skye16]

The family and friends part of my life is quite messy.
It's a curse to feel everything too deeply because then you understand everyone but no one understands you. There are times when I feel like Ocean and everyone I know likes to swim in the swallow water. They are afraid of the deapth, afraid of what they might find in the dark.

On the surface I've got many friends but none of them understand me, the real me. They don't understand my need to slip away in solitude when things get hard. They don't understand why destruction and chaos and darkness feels like home. They don't understand my insecurities. They only want to accept my light. I cannot show them my darkness. I cannot be real with them. I need to filter my thoughts and think twice before I speak because how ever they are I don't want to lose them.

My parents are emotionally abusive. They constantly fight and argue over nothing. In my life on 16 years never have they ever told me they love me but they haven't failed to constantly remind how much of a burden I'm to them and how I have always created problems. They are proud of my sister but ashamed of me. There's so much to say about my family but I'll probably say it in my next posts because talking about all these brings back a lot of bad momeries and I'm right now I'm not emotionally stable to go through it all.