[Kate*]

I'm a success story, it's only an anti-depressant, so nothing too intense. I was the same way, I was born anxious, depression hit at puberty complete with suicidal ideation. I was either suicidally depressed, or adrenaline coursing through my veins anxious 24/7. I resisted meds for years, until my therapist finally said "I respect clients' views on medication unless I really feel the need to push it. You're working very hard, but it's not getting you anywhere; let's try."

The first one we tried worked for me, with minimal side effects and once I was eased on to it, we only had to adjust the dose once. It's a night and day difference and I should've done it decades ago.

If possible, go to a psychiatrist rather than a primary care doctor, they know a lot more about psych meds specifically and are less likely to just throw pills at you without being thorough. There's also a genetic test you can get, sometimes insurance covers it, that will tell you what drugs are more likely to work or not for you and what could give you really bad reactions.