[Celyn]

Open adoption isn't common where I'm from, but I did a little research and it does seem like an interesting alternative to closed adoption. But like everything in life, there are always pros and cons.

Many people choose putting up a child for adoption for many reasons, including feeling like there is a lack of support and financial resources. It may be less common to plan a pregnancy and then choose adoption, but I imagine it's not unheard of. Especially since you're also trying to get away from your abusive family and feel you have little community support. Then again, you were young at the time of your first child and had nothing, and I'm wondering if there is any possibility that your family felt that you didn't have the financial resources to cope and perhaps wanted custody as a way of supporting you and the baby (as opposed to thinking that you aren't a good mother)? Other people may have felt uncomfortable with the idea of looking after your baby so that you could work for many reasons, though I understand this didn't help you in the long term.

You would have to look into the finer details of how open adoption works- I imagine the biological father of the baby may have a right to know and support, or not, the decision to put the baby up for open adoption.

It does seem like a good alternative to the typical closed adoption where you can't have a relationship with your child. And even better if you get to choose the adoptive parents and have supportive relationships with them as well. But I'm wondering how you would cope with any feelings of loss or grief surrounding putting your child up for adoption (even if it's open)?

I understand that when you had your first child, you were young and had nothing. I'm wondering whether your situation has improved at all now e.g. money and work? I'm also wondering why you are thinking of planning to get pregnant followed by open adoption and not considering the possibility of co-parenting with the future baby's father, whom could potentially offer support with raising a child? Your children's father may have disagreed with having children and even wanted you to have an abortion, but that doesn't mean that a potential father would feel the same.

It might be worth contacting Planned Parenthood for further information on open adoptions and even better if you can talk to them for impartial advice or get referred to an adoption counsellor. You might want to check out Planned Parenthood's articles on considering adoption and adoption facts and information.