[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]I have two kids already. They're four & half, and six. I was nineteen when I had my first son, and both pregnancies were unplanned. I NEVER HAD A SUPPORT SYSTEM. My family, and my kids' dad thought of having a child rather than an abortion as a life ruining mistake. My family seemed excited with my first pregnancy until I gave birth. Then, they disowned my baby & I. I was a young, single mom to a new baby. No money saved up, no job, no education, no car, no phone. Literally, I took my baby, and left with nothing. We stayed in a women's shelter, and we moved around a lot. My family took me through court for a year trying to get custody, and in the middle of that I got pregnant with my second baby. Basically, they didn't support me being a good mom to my baby. They tried to convince me to sign over my rights before I took the baby, and left. Then after that they tried to get custody. It was basically like "we'll have somthing to do with your baby if you sign him over, or get him taken away. But, we want no part in you being a good mom to your baby." People that we lived with would financially support our needs at the BARE MINIMUM. Because they didn't want to watch the baby so that I could work, and become financially stable. But, in return I had to do double the favors for them. Anyway, I was looking into open adoption after I had my first son, and my mom threw it in my face, and told me she would step in, and stop it. Now she's raising both my NEICE & NEPHEW. I was choosing open adoption to 1. Get the baby away from my abusive mom, and 2. Get to still have a relationship with him. I still feel guilty for all the bad situations we were in over the last 6 years because I chose to keep him, and it was like no matter where we went nobody wanted anything to do with my kids. Both my pregnancies were somthing that were frowned upon. I was punished, condemned, and shamed for them. My family, and my kids' dad thought of it as me ruining my life not only once, but twice. They, along with my kids' dad tried pushing me into abortion both times. I just thought if I purposefully got pregnant a third time, and chose open adoption I could enjoy it, and have that support system that I never had with the other two.[/size]