[Mallika]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out!! I think in several aspects I went through what you're going through recently, so I might be in a position to advise.

It is natural to want to reach out to someone yet feel like we're "not there yet" with our own progress in our life's ventures like career, etc. But remember, relationships with people is one thing, while our stage of progress in our life journey is another. Yes, the two are linked in several ways, but remember that not everyone can have everything "figured out" at all times in life. Everyone operates on their own timeline. This shouldn't stop you from seeking romantic interest.

Like you, recently I was waiting to ask out someone who is based in the US but I was dependent on the outcome of my applications to some schools in the US, thinking that I'll message him only once I get the confirmation that I'll be moving to the US. But I wouldn't know that until around 6 months later. I didn't want to ask him out before I knew this, because I thought it might increase my chances of being rejected. But then again, I didn't want to wait that long because he might not be single anymore. So I decided to do something along the lines of what Eli said - I sent a DM that expressed my interest but at the same time didn't demand commitment from his end so he wouldn't feel pressurised. I'm still waiting for his reply (well, it's not like I know him personally, I met him through a mutual Facebook group + I sent him this only recently) but at least he didn't reject me yet.

I think you could do the same. Since you know this guy, it might be a good idea to start off with something casual. Since you guys don't talk much, he might even get the hint that you are showing interest, which is good. If you straight-up say that you have a crush on him, it might scare him off. So perhaps you could share a meme, or a puzzle question or something fun and build up the conversation from there. Are you into any sort of video games or games in general? My best friend often plays online chess with his pals, where each person creates a character. Another example is something called an "escape room", which is a mystery-based online game where you work in a team to solve clues. You can gather a couple of friends and ask him to join if he's interested. That's a way of also getting some interaction with him.

If you're comfortable with this, you can even reach out to him with a genuine question. Perhaps you could ask him about advice on something (e.g. maybe about the work he does, or something). Of course, it is better that you're reaching out to him with a genuine curiosity about the question you're asking, otherwise it would seem quite pretentious that you're doing this only to get his attention. But if you do think of something you'd like to learn/ask him about, that's a great way to also start a conversation. Plus, you also get some pointers from him about your question.

I don't think you need to wait to reach out to him. Yes, you might want to wait until you tell him about how you feel. But don't let anything stop you from starting a conversation. It all begins from there

Good luck! Feel free to DM me if you have any questions!