[Celyn]

It's good that you are reaching out

Even though you relapsed and self-medicated, it's good that you realised that drinking didn't help you. If you get tempted to drink again, you might try to remind yourself if how it didn't help you last time.

It sounds like you have a lot of responsibility- doing supper and taking care of your little brothers. I'm wondering if there's anyone who might be able to help you practically? For example, I was a young carer for my dad when I was a teenager, and it was helpful to have carers come in to look after my dad at times. Even though it's lovely that you are looking out for your brothers, you are still young yourself and it sounds like you are struggling at the moment and could do with some extra support.

When we are feeling low and relapsing, it's common to feel separated from others, and not really caring, and understandable how this can scare you too. Try and be gentle on yourself. You are caring and responsible, but you are also having a hard time right now too. It won't always be like this though.

Sometimes friends might not know what to say or do to help us, especially if they've never seen us at a low point before. It might help to give your friend some space and then maybe try to talk to her and let her know how you have been feeling. If there is anything in particular that you think she might be able to help with, you can ask. This might help her if she doesn't know how to support you. Otherwise, you might want to turn to other friends, family or professionals for help.

Have you had a conversation with your mother yet? I think it's understandable to be anxious about it especially if you are concerned about her reaction. But hopefully she'll try and be understanding. It can be good to open up about how you've been feeling, especially if you normally try to hide it.