[Mallika]

Hi Katy,

Welcome to TeenHelp! You did the right thing by reaching out and I'm sure you'll get many great responses and insights here.

Addiction and obsessions are very real - whether it's pornography, drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc. And these are definitely not healthy for your growth and development by any means, considering you are so young. I want to assure you that it is not impossible to overcome this addiction - I have heard of many people who have overcome porn addiction. I'm sorry that your therapist couldn't help you with this... but don't give up.

Firstly, I think it pays to understand the science behind porn addiction. This article is great (not too much scientific jargon) if you want to understand why your brain responds to porn the way it does: https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016...orn-addiction/

One of the methods you might have tried to overcome this is by going "cold turkey" - stopping it overnight, altogether. This can be quite difficult especially if the addiction is strong to start with. It might instead help to set realistic goals and work towards them one step at a time. Just think of someone who's trying to lose weight - can they stop eating altogether and exercise all day if they want to lose 10kg? Nope. It is much more sensible to cut out on unhealthy foods and engage in reasonable amounts of intense exercise in progressive steps. It's the same here. Let's say you are spending 3 hours of your day watching porn and are masturbating during school hours. Perhaps you might want to consciously work on not masturbating during school hours first, before moving onto reducing (and eventually eliminating) time spent on watching porn. It might help to get a diary where you write these goals down for each day and check them off as you accomplish them. Word of warning: it's not going to be very easy and you will experience some withdrawal symptoms (i.e. wishing you could just watch porn), but don't give up. Remember, it pays to take this extra bit of pain by detaching yourself from your addiction, if you want a greater, positive outcome.

Another method that might help is to understand the repercussions of watching porn. This guy who runs a channel called Fit Tuber does an amazing job explaining what porn does to your mind and body, and also gives effective tips on overcoming it:
1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQv0tS8Qw80&t=442s
2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJz18CVg9Ww&t=174s
Watch these two videos in order. If you read the comments, you'll see that so many people have decided to overcome their porn/masturbation addictions after watching the video and have been "clean" for so-and-so number of days.

As for your being on online sex/dating sites, it is advisable that you deactivate your accounts immediately. The kind of pedophiles and creeps that lurk out there can do unimaginable things to young girls like you. If you deactivate all your accounts on those sites and refrain from joining any more (even if you think they are "safe"), it will go a long way in helping you overcome this.

Embarking on this journey of overcoming this addiction is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It's good that you've already reached out and started thinking about this.

Best of luck and if you have any questions, feel free to DM me!